It was a little weird to see myself, in the Lede, as my own back-up batter.
One Foot In
I often say, honestly, if the woman I was before I had a child could see the woman I am now, there is no way she would have a kid. That woman was so intense about her work, so used to having her schedule at her control, so used to napping, eating, watching a movie, and having sex whenever she felt like it, she would be horrified to see herself as me.
I don’t happen to be one of those feminists who thinks that sex between someone in a superior role and someone in an inferior role can never really be consensual. I think men and women can actually be grown up enough to manage sexual advances at the office in a way that is respectful and fair.
This week, a hormonal trifecta.
It’s really fascinating to me, then, that a lot of interviewees don’t change very much of what I give back to them. I think they are often a bit surprised by that snapshot of their thinking, their memories, at that moment, and treat it as more sacred than I do. In any case, it’s a system that leaves me as close to peace as I can be when I’m asking people difficult questions about uncomfortable times.
I did finally find the chicken. In fact, I just now looked in my dissertation and verified that. It was a Leghorn fowl.
So, I find myself thinking what at first blush feels like a very un-feminist thought: Enough already with the special exceptions in academia for women who choose to be mothers.
Traveling a lot makes me appreciate everything more. It makes me realize how little stuff I really need, how much I value the company of smart people, how privileged I am in being able to meet interesting new souls and see things I otherwise would not.
Flexner was right in the basic principle that she who is scientific necessarily has no religion. She has a philosophy, a methodology, an attitude, but this is not religion.
I wouldn’t be the subject of odd people’s conspiracy theories. I could just stay home and murder people. I would never have to witness the tragedy of the way people really are. Never have to wonder how I am going to do that person’s story justice.